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On Being Second

Being a little sister can be hard, but it also has its advantages.

Have you heard the big news? Sasha lost her first tooth last week. After years—and I do mean years—of frustration as her big brother A.J. lost tooth after tooth after tooth after tooth, she has finally joined the ranks of the toothless.

"I feel like this all must be just a dream," she marveled the other morning as we walked down the path to school. "I just can't believe I finally lost a tooth."

"Was it everything you'd hoped for?" I asked, giving her hand a squeeze.

"Oh Mama," she bubbled, "it's even better than I thought it would be."

As a first-born child, I never really appreciated how hard it must be to have to wait in the wings while an older sibling experiences everything first. Sasha's single-minded determination to crawl, then toddle, then run after her big brother gave me some insight into what childhood must have been like for my little sister. 

But this whole tooth thing is what really illuminated it for me: Sasha's frustrated tears each time A.J. triumphantly brandished another lost baby tooth were heartbreaking. Trying to soothe her hurt feelings while celebrating his milestone was like tiptoeing through a mine field, and I'm pretty sure we all lost a few metaphorical appendages in the process.

Despite the attendant emotional scarring, being second-born does have its advantages. Sasha always has the chance to sit back and watch while A.J. makes mistakes, and I have to say she is pretty good at not repeating them. And the girl is Persistence Personified. "I won't give up," she'll say through gritted teeth as she keeps trying whatever it is she wants to do—and she doesn't give up, not until she's done it.

This morning I passed her in the hallway, examining her gap-toothed smile in the mirror on the closet door. "Don't I look cute?" she asked as she struck a pose.

"You look adorable," I told her, because I have a no-lying policy to which I almost always adhere. 

She smiled at her reflection again, then furrowed her brow slightly. "A.J. has lost a lot more teeth than just one, Mama. When will my next tooth get wiggly?"

Ah yes, that's my girl.

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Janet Arline Barker May 17, 2013 at 11:18 am
Awesome! Next Tuesday, Thursday or Friday are open. Name a time and place. I used to write 3Read More different columns for San Bruno, Millbrae, and Burlingame Patch. I am ready to write for Pacifica Patch & blog too. Here's my personal blog...I do sporadically. Www.art-Janet.blogspot.com My art studio is at Sanchez Art Center #11
Christa Bigue (Editor) May 17, 2013 at 11:05 am
When can we meet for coffee Janet? Since you're the first one to post in our biz update section youRead More get to have coffee and chat with your local Patch editor! Email me at christa.bigue@patch.com and we'll find a date and place.
Anon. April 14, 2013 at 01:43 am
I can start with the comments on the Theravance drug, fluticasone fluroate - the active moiety inRead More this compound is the same, fluticasone (proprionate) that has been marketed by GSK for the same indication for approximately 25 years. Indeed, that patent is so old, and the drug has such a proven track record for safety and efficacy, that the patent has expired and there are generic versions available. There is also in implicit assumption by the author that the only reason that the FDA will approve medications in a short time span is because they are for 'life-or-limb' or unmet serious medical need. This is just not the case - regulators in many countries, including the FDA in the USA, may give accelerated approval to a product, where the safety and tolerability of a product is equivalent to a similar active agent which has already been approved. I suspect this is the case for fluticasone fluroate - but I am not privy to the details of the regulatory filing. I note that none of the companies mentioned here, nor the FDA, has provided input to this article. The journalism in this article smacks of someone trying to make a name for themselves quickly by scaring uneducated and/or anxious people. The science is just plain flawed.
Pacificat April 12, 2013 at 12:49 pm
Please tell us in what ways it is ill-informed
Anon. April 11, 2013 at 08:22 pm
Ill-informed, sensationalist rubbish.
Deb Wong March 26, 2013 at 06:09 pm
Thanks, Stacie!
Stacie Chan (Editor) March 26, 2013 at 02:51 pm
Absolutely stunning photos, Deb! Thanks for sharing. I really feel like I was there by just perusingRead More your photo gallery.
Donna Fentanes March 26, 2013 at 09:49 am
Thanks, Deb, for the videos. Now we all can take one last ride. :)
Jim Clifford March 25, 2013 at 01:08 pm
Each column gets better. I look for "The Shoe."
Deb Wong March 25, 2013 at 11:19 am
I think many of us can relate! 10 kids, huh? I was the oldest of 9, so sort of understand. MyRead More family grew up in Pacifica, & we rode over the slide every weekend when we went to the HMB airport to tend to my father's airplanes. I drove on it once, during driver's ed in high school, scary! I have an old home movie clip from 1966, going over the slide. Very overexposed, but you can still see parts of the slide in it. More recently, took 2 videos of our drive over the slide, North & south views. Going North: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb8NKnu9Gvw Going South: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rlN_g2LeE8