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Health & Fitness

Stopping Cyberbullying

Cyber bullying is of great concern these days, especially in light of several highly-publicized teen suicides connected to on-line personal attacks.

What exactly is cyber bullying and does it differ from what we know as “schoolyard” bullying?  Cyber bullying is the migration of bullying into the realm of technology and social media; the willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones, or other electronic devices.  It can take the form of sending harassing text messages, stealing passwords; attacking while blogging; sending pictures through e-mails and cell phones; polling friends on the internet; sending malicious code; sending porn or junk mail; and impersonating someone on line.  It is the same as bullying in its emotional landscape; the motivations of those who bully, the impact on victims, and the social dynamics of passive approval or dismissal by bystanders.

But bullying delivered through technology IS potentially very different, providing a venue that is harsher and more public that the school yard.  Since electronic communication does not require face-to-face interaction, the bully does not have to read and react to facial and emotional cues.  They don’t have to confront bystanders who defend a victim or the verbal (or physical) self defense of the victim themselves.  Electronic media shields the bully, giving them more power to express power and cruelty without others mediating the intensity of the attack. Add to this the ability to post pictures, impersonate someone on line, or simply fabricate a lie and send it out far beyond a small network of friends.  Once the information is out, it can’t be removed or reined in and bystanders face their own risks in responding on line.

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However, the strategies to stop cyber bullying are the same as those for stopping bullying - it requires a coordinated community effort to recognize it, call it out, report it, and establish a no-tolerance policy. 

 

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Parents must make it clear that bullying behaviors are not appropriate and nurture their children’s skills and courage at recognizing and reporting cyber bullying. Children whose parents hold the line are less likely to bully and more likely to report incidents as bystanders.  Not surprisingly, youth whose friends bully are more likely to engage in bullying or dismiss it when it happens.  It is important to know who your children’s friends are.  Also, if you see bullying on line, report it to the school or talk to the parents of the person who posted something troubling.  And of course, monitor what you children are doing on line.   

The power of peers.  There is growing evidence that peers may have a greater influence in limiting bullying.  On campus peer-to-peer mentoring and peer leadership programs have been very effective in empowering young people to define the anti-bulling agenda, to model positive behaviors, and to influence peers to become “upstanders” instead of bystanders.  Check with your child’s school to see if they have a program or can start one. 

The adults at school must lead.  It is not just up to our kids on campus.  One of the most important features of a successful school anti-bullying plan is the complete commitment of the adults in the building.  This includes their ability to model “upstanding” behavior and create space for effective, open dialogue about a bullying incident, treating it as a learning opportunity as important as any other. 

 

Fortunately, San Mateo COE Respect 24/7 is here for local solutions!  The County Office of Education has established a community education initiative called Respect 24/7 which provides guidance in addressing all types of bullying and gives schools a platform upon which to develop school-specific anti-bullying and pro-respect initiatives and activities.  Check at your children’s school to see how they are participating.

A major concept Respect 24/7 is promoting is digital citizenship, a framework for teaching the use of technology in a responsible manner that reflects the privileges and positive potential of digital communication and recognizes abusive or harmful digital behavior. Students can take a digital citizenship pledge and write about their own experiences as witnesses, participants, or victims of bullying.  Please visit the R24/7 website and Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/Respect24.7SMC, and explore it with your children. Also visit the digital citizenship website at http://digitalcitizenship.net/.  Young people are also taking action against bullying by creating their own websites and social media.  Try http://www.pacerteensagainstbullying.org/#/home for a great example of peer leadership.  Make these the links your child sends to friends or like on their Facebook page.

 

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