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Community Corner

on standardizing our common children

An Interview About Eating Worms.

by elizabeth rubenstein

So, tell me about what you’re eating here

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Well, they’re worms.

That sounds disgusting.

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Yes, but they’re not as bad as the rocks and dirt we were eating for the last decade.

Why are you eating worms?

Our bosses told us to.

Are your bosses chefs or dietitians?

No, but they sell rocks, dirt and worms to eat.

I see.  How do the children like the worms?

Oh, they hate them.  But we’re working on getting them accustomed to the taste.

How do you do that?

Well, we’ve eliminated other items from their diet, and we have them eat small worms all the time to get ready for the big worm they’re going to eat this spring.

How’s that going?

Well, not good.  But we’re told if we just keep practicing, it will get better.  There could be new and improved worms next year.

What if it doesn’t get better?

Then our bosses will fire us and hire someone else to make children eat worms.

Did you receive any worm -feeding training?

Not really.  The bosses just created this and said we had to do it our they’d cut our funding.  The whole country is jumping in at once and trusting that the worm suppliers know what they’re doing.  We’re all figuring out ways to change to the new worm system as we go.

I see.  But you know children need a variety of foods in their diet.  Not everyone can even eat worms. And what about children who’ve never even seen a worm before, or are vegetarians?  No two children are alike…

Well, it’s now our job to get them used to the worm eating.  Our bosses say it’s so we can compete with other worm eaters internationally.  Because if other nations are good at eating worms and we’re eating all this other stuff, how will we demonstrate our national superiority in worm eating?

Good point.  How about the parents, what do they say about eating worms?

Well, most of them don’t really know what goes on here.  They had a diverse diet growing up and assume our bosses are still offering it to the children today.  Or some say kids need to get tough and just eat worms if that’s what everyone else is doing.  And a lot of them don’t speak our language, so we just smile and pantomime that everything’s OK. Also,  if the children can’t really buckle down and eat worms, we can expel them from our worm eating facility. 

That’s a powerful incentive.  


Yes. There are also some parents who don’t like worms and are able to pull their children out of our programs. They send their children to private nutritional programs or are even feeding them at home.

How about your co workers, how do they react to the worm feeding?

Well many are newer to the job and have only ever known rocks and dirt.  Some are just a few years from retirement, so they put their heads down and shovel worms so they won’t lose the benefits they’ve earned in their career.  Others may even think worms are a good idea, but that’s hard to believe when you look at how the children react to it all.  

What about when the children grow up and no longer have to even eat worms?  I’ve never heard of a professional worm eater.

Well, that’s not my concern.  My job is to make them eat worms now so they can get good at eating the worms my bosses are selling. 

It must be hard making kids eat worms all day.

Oh, yes!  But with so many people smiling and telling us we have to, we feel like we’ve got to play along.  We know children need so much more, but we could lose our jobs if we speak out against the worms.  And at least they’re better than dirt and rocks.

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