Foster Farms Placing Full-Page Newspaper Ads: In an effort to counter the bad publicity from a recent outbreak of Salmonella, Foster Farms has been placing ads in major newspapers stating the technology they will draw upon and the steps they are taking to prevent another outbreak. While I admire their effort, I’m still finding it a bit difficult feeling comfortable buying anything from a company who is forced to list all the steps they plan on taking to prevent their product from killing me.
Police Arrest Man for Groping Fast-Food Worker: Police in central Pennsylvania say they found a suspected groper of a fast-food worker by following a trail of curly fries he left behind. Apparently the man told police he just wanted to get a good feel for the service there.
Man Runs Back Into Burning Home to Save His Beer: A Georgia man is lucky to be alive after he and his family fled a burning house, but then decided to go back in to retrieve the remainder of his Bud Light beer, but got caught in a back draft which slammed the door shut on him. While it seems like a foolish thing to do, you can’t really blame him for trying to save his “best buds.”
Ducks Invade CVS Pharmacy in Upstate New York: Security cameras recorded a brace of some 50 ducks invading a CVS Pharmacy in Saratoga Springs, NY before they were finally escorted out by a pharmacist with a broom. Witnesses say the ducks were apparently upset about their bills.
Scientists Discover a Lost World in Remote Australia: An expedition to a remote part of northern Australia has uncovered three new vertebrate species isolated for millions of years, with scientists calling the area a "lost world.” They must have discovered a Gecko that wasn’t in the insurance business.
Some Soldiers Turning to Lipo to Pass Military Fat Test: According to the AP, some members of the military are turning to liposuction as a quick fix to pass the military's "fat test,” which can affect promotions and career prospects for years to come. Well, guess that’s one way to reduce the size of the military.
Florida High School Teacher Suspended for Taping Students Hands: A Florida high school science teacher has been suspended for five days without pay for allegedly taping a student’s hands together and then trying to tape her mouth shut. And, to make matters worse, he then tried to make her listen to Books on Tape.
Extra Large Sized Caskets Selling Well: Casket makers are reporting a huge growth in sales of extra large caskets, calling it a dignified way for families of the obese to also find closure. Yea, I could see where it might be difficult to find closure if you can’t close the casket.