Weekly Horoscope: April 11-17

Aries: Did you have dreams or ideas when you were a child that you gave up on because society somehow crushed them along the way? Do they stay around in your head and come up once in awhile only for you to laugh them away again? The universe is very receptive right now to your most vivid and young idealist musings. Communicating these in a creative and selective way is just the beginning of your world-expanding ventures to come. 

Taurus: Are you feeling like an old soul? Like you've seen and know it all? Like almost nothing could shock you? Well, I'm telling you right now that that kind of attitude is going to get you nowhere. You can tell yourself that life's all a big nothing, but there are some things that still matter to you, am I right? Hang out in your weird little nihilistic phase for for awhile if you want, but you and I both know that you care a lot. And honey, that's a really good thing. Remember your goals, remember your passions.

Gemini: You are a master of change, you adapt quickly and beautifully to any situation. But what happens when the changes going on around you are offensive and beyond your control? I'm afraid that you might be harboring disturbed feelings about things that 1) don't have anything to do with you and 2) you literally can't do anything about. So, ask yourself, is it going to do me any good to be mad? (hint: No! Go buy yourself some ice cream and forget about it).

Cancer: Dreams are easy for you. You're just dreaming your little watery dreams all the time, constantly. Right now is the time that the world wants and needs to see, hear and experience them. People are going to be extra receptive to your fantastical worlds so don't be afraid to let loose; my omens say you should be welcomed and deeply praised. 

Leo: You are on your way to a very necessary rebirth. But in order to do that, you must go through a little death. It sounds scary but at it's very best, death only has to be hard. The more you fight against the inevitability of the future, the more painful this transformation will be. In order to make this transition go smoothly try to focus on the joy and wisdom you will receive once you get to the other side. 

Virgo: I have a Virgo friend who always complains she's never having sex. This is absolutely not true, but the thing about you virgins is that you want the perfect sex, the pinnacle of the experience. I can't promise that you will get that exactly, from sexual interaction or anything, but I think this week you can come pretty close to experiencing a dreamworld of sensual joys.

Libra: You're in a rut, my friend. There's no doubt about that. First, I shall comfort you with the knowledge that it will, one day, be over and all the love, money, financial or creative success that you feel like you should find will come to you. But in order to get there you must continue to search out the superfluous things hanging onto your existence and get rid of them. Streamline yourself for the future. 

Scorpio: Do you know any jokes? No seriously, could you please tell us a real joke. Like, a funny one. One that we haven't heard from you over and over again. We care about you a lot but your insistence on being so serious all the time is really bumming us out, dude. I know that you have a searing, poignant wit just ready to burst forth with the kind of truthful observations that could make anyone absolutely die with laughter, and honestly, it would be extremely healthy for you to make light of the world with a little humor.

Sagittarius: What kind of new adventures are you getting into lately, my sweet, darling Sagittarius? Your words are meeting up with your dreams are meeting up with your social life are meeting up with your physical needs. And not only that, but you are poised to experience the kind of awe at the world that you haven't felt in years. If this is at all bewildering to you, or even frightening, trust me when I say that you are allowed to have this pleasure. It is the universes gift to you. Please enjoy.

Capricorn: It's not that you're whining exactly, but sometimes you can get a little mopey. You don't have to argue with me, I don't want to fight about it and you know that I'm right. Sitting around and talking about how nobody likes you and that you're not getting what you want is not only self-entitled nonsense but a sure-fire way to not get it. In fact, the things you want to attract can hear your complaining and are currently running in the opposite direction. Stand up straight, drop the sad-sack routine, use your big kid voice and be sincere, honest and direct about what you want. 

Aquarius: If someone was telling you what to do and how to do it, would you follow them? No way. You're an Aquarian. You do things your way. Other people may need to depend on signs and stars to tell them how to behave, but ultimately you use your sharp observation skills to decide your next move. The world tells you one thing, but baby, you just keep being you and do it your way.

Pisces: When we get jealous of other people's successes, we fail to remember that we are not separate from them. It can feel like we are all alone sometimes, but we are not. If you find yourself feeling resentful at all this week, do two things for me: Remember that chances are that most people are going through similar hardships to your own and to be open to the loving, graceful energies that are flowing through your sign this week.