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Community Corner

Bay to Breakers Is Like No Other

This costumed spectacle is a challenge to run, but not for the reasons you might think.

As a group, hardcore runners can be zany adrenaline freaks who race miles in all kinds of weather, through all kinds of terrain and in all kinds of outfits—barefoot, Viking hats, fur briefs, bobby socks, skirts, you name it. I am a longtime runner and I thought I’d seen it all, until I hit the base of Hayes Street in my first Bay to Breakers race, too many years ago to say.

There in front of me: the hairy, white, glistening cheeks (and I don’t mean the ones on his face) of a middle-aged man huffing up the mountain. Oh dear, I thought, if I have to run behind this man for the entire race I won’t make it.

I tried to zag left, then zig right to pass. There was no way to get around him without actually touching him and, well, that seemed worse than being stuck behind him.

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People told me running Bay to Breakers would be a challenge. I laughed, thinking the race looked like a big party. How hard could it be to outrun a cluster of bumblebees drinking from a beehive keg? As someone who’d run countless trail races, competed in triathalons and spent five years training in Kung Fu, I didn’t think a little drinking walk-a-thon posed that much of an athletic challenge. That first event taught me more lessons about racing than any other.

Since my first B2B, I’ve run the race a half dozen times. This year I’ll be watching the  from the comfort of my couch as I am entering the final leg of my pregnancy. I’ll be rooting for the five women I trained as part of my running program.

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Like most runners I’ve prepared for B2B, they intend to race it as a serious competition, not as a feel-good celebration. These moms (some of whom, once upon a time, participated in the race in beer maiden outfits) hope to best their times for a 12K or run that distance for the first time.

While Bay to Breakers is a sporting event to be reckoned with, it’s usually not in the way most runners think. It’s not the course or the weather that make it a challenge. It’s the crowds, and the variety of people, from elite Kenyans to 20-somethings in togas toting goblets of beer. Learning to navigate these obstacles will determine whether you have a good racing experience. So this week, I dispense the following tips for novice B2B runners: 

  1. No skydiving, fried Oreos or bootleg glasses of beer: File this under “Things I should never do before a race.” This is not necessarily exclusive to B2B. It’s one of those tips you can either learn the hard way (i.e. puking half way through the race because you decided to try Uncle Ricardo’s favorite taco truck last night) or the easy way. Take it from me: Don’t try new things the week of a race. Unequivocally, you will regret it, like I did when I went to Oktoberfest the night before a race and drank far too much, ate more brats than a girl should and got sick, really sick.  
  2. Your race actually starts with your alarm clock: I’ve run a lot of races, but I’ve never, ever seen crowds like the those at B2B, nor have I experienced such transit paralysis due to a racing event. It can take hours to get to the starting line if you . I’ve gotten there every way you can think of, from Muni to attempting to park in the Embarcadero to busing it from the Peninsula. All ways, to put it mildly, suck. The best, in my experience, is catching the N Judah near the finish line. But you’ve got to catch it at its starting point and about two hours before the race starts. Try to get on, say, a mile from the race line and you’ll be watching a parade of Muni cars packed with sweaty B2Bers, faces pressed against the glass, pass you by. 
  3. Pick your company wisely: Everyone will receive a staggered start time. That said, no one, especially in B2B, really pays attention to where they are placed. So, how do you know where to place yourself? Well, in most cases, you may have no choice. Where you can find a spot to squeeze in may be your only option. I like to pay attention to whom I’m surrounded by. If the crowd is dressed in Batman outfits and chugging forties then I relocate. If I’m surrounded by Kenyans in racing shorts and sponsored tees then I pull back. I look for people who look like my kind. 
  4. Be prepared for an exhilarating game of red light/green light: In every race, it takes a few minutes to find your pace group and settle into a group of runners who are about your speed and talent level. In B2B it can take the entire race to achieve this. The streets are narrow and you will most likely find yourself locked in behind a naked man or stuck behind a pack of zebras. Be patient and look for holes. When you see one, make a break for it. You may run portions of the race at far below your goal pace, and other sections at a breakneck sprint. I rarely ever maintain the same pathway for an entire race. I may start on the sidewalk, switch to the street, and then return back to the sidewalk again. It’s exhausting, but it beats being stuck in the slow lane or facing a school of salmon migrating your way. As for passing the naked people, it’s better to risk bodily contact. I carry a bottle of Purell in my pocket in case of such an instance.
  5. You will not beat the Kenyans: Be aware that this is an iconic San Francisco race and, as is fitting for this great city, bizarre. Although the city has tried to tame the race, I don’t believe that its efforts will stifle its flare. Most people know this is a crazy spectacle, but still get very serious about running B2B. Don’t. It’ll just upset you. Have fun, enjoy the crowd and don’t expect to shatter any records. Save your plans to annihilate your 12K race pace for smaller, more intimate affairs where it’s less likely that you’ll run into a school of fish, a bearded naked man and a pack of pachyderm in the same mile. 

Jennifer Christgau-Aquino is a running coach, AFAA certified personal trainer and ACE certified fitness instructor who won’t miss being stuck behind a naked runner this year, but will miss participating in the historic Bay to Breakers event. 

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